FED up!

    Wowy wow woah... I'm completely tired of this new body.
If anyone had told me that I would have popped out four kids and dragged my body through the trenches of mommyhood... I would have said, "Oh get outta here!"  I've noticed the fluffier midsection and the new rolly-polly feeling when I get up and move around but sheesh, I saw my body in front of a wall of mirrors when I was at a resort (on vacation with the family).  This wall of mirrors was placed behind a sexy hot tub in a very spacious and luxurious bathroom.  I winced for a minute and took a second glance... "OMG, that's not a sea cow in some sort of moving 'sea-themed' mural... that's my actual body!  Unholy hell!!!  Now that ain't sexy!"  I gulped a major gulp and grew closer to the mirror, "darn this unflattering lighting!" noticing the dark circles under my eyes and my skin was pasty white and what was even worse... my stretch marks looked like a subway map was paper mache'd to my abdomen.  "Rats on bats!"  I felt horribly disfigured and I thought to myself, "if I could just chop this off, and pin that up, and hide that away... and oooh what the hell is that?"  It was like all this time I still saw myself as that college student with the skinny body... and then I fell into a time portal and found myself 40yrs. in the future!
    So I'm crazy motivated now.  I am going to work my butt off, literally, to get myself as back to I was as possible.  I hope I can keep the boobies though... the boobies were a marvelous, unexpected gift from pregnancy number one (pregnancy number two made them a little bit flat) and then good ol' pregnancy number 3 rectified the situation!  I wouldn't even mind keeping some of my lovely lady lumps (as I believe Fergie stated) but the majority of this mayhem needs to go!  Where does a mother of four young kids find time for a workout??
    I'm going to have to get on the ball.  I need a schedule that works for meeting the needs of all four kids and at the same time, leaves room for my own personal improvements.  Like what about dance?  Did I forget that I love to dance?  Nope, I just got busy... busy, busy, busy!  And tired!  Oh so very TIRED!  i don't think I like to run, I don't remember the last time I ran just for the heck of it LOL oh man, what happened to me?  "Okay, think back...  What did I like before one too many episodes of Dora the Explorer and Yo Gabba Gabba fried my brain cells?  Oh yeah, that's right!  I loved to dance, draw, sculpt, act, bowl, write poetry-memoir-journal, go out with people older than age 5... it's starting to come back to me now.  Oh, that's right and I hung out with my close friends, well, that was before they all dropped off the face of the map because I grew up... got married... grew a family... and they thought that my new responsibilities meant that I was no longer the same Stephanie."  But I digress.  "That's right, even farther back in time (before I got my awesome first car) I actually enjoyed walking everywhere with my then-boyfriend-now-husband... and that was really awesome to just be out in nature, running around and making out behind bushes and stuff."  Wow, whatever happened to that girl?
    So I've figured out that I still enjoy doing all of those things and there's no reason why I can't do a "walk around" date with the hubs again.  Maybe work them into a routine where we park somewhere and walk as far away from the car, lose the car, and then try to find it again.  I've gotta make life less convenient for me.  "Oh no, we're out of milk?  Maybe when Ishmael gets home from work I can go walk and get some?  Would that be too, old school?  Too 'pre-car Steph'?"  Nah, that would be awesome, that would be like me having to use my legs again long distance and even some longer short distances would be a vast improvement to my daily activity.
    What now?  Well, I went walking with the hubs on Monday and did some working out on the pilates machine... gotta step it up.  I really want this really really badly.  I'm so far from pregnancy and post-pregnancy excuses.  If I were to stay fat, it would be like saying, "oh well, that's just the way the cookies crumble."  Or rather, "that's just the way the cookies plump me up."  So I'm completely, totally, past the point of return... FED UP!
    This blog is about me finding myself again, after the dirty diapers and kiddy shows completely brain washed me into thinking I was Momma-milkyboob-bags.  I'm so much more than that and in this process to de-fat-ifying myself, you and I will have the pleasure of sharing more laughs and you can be sort of an accountability partner who checks in on my journey to a new, improved me :0)
    I will be journaling about what I eat, what I do to workout, what works and what flops, what I feel and all the bounces along the way!

xoxo

~Steph