Date Night was a BUST

Hello world!!


I mentioned before that the husband and I have started to go on Friday night date nights, one night to go out and celebrate being adults... minus the kids LOL. 

Well last night's date night was a complete bust.  The husband planned nothing, I tried to grab up some friends last minute (a married couple that we have had game nights with, in the past) but they were heading out last night to New York.  Rats!  Bowling and then lounging at this Afro-Caribbean spot would have been the way to go, but that's okay I think they're more than up for joining us next time around.

But so, we head out (mind you, a mother of four heading out on a much needed date gets washed up, dressed up, and pumped up... meaning psyches herself up with many confidence boosters because well, she's a mother of four and in no way looks the same as she did four kids ago) and the husband tells me that he just texted some old friends to see what they were up to and that they were going to the pool hall.  So the pool hall it was, at that point, I was anxious to be anywhere doing anything.  The pool hall was fairly empty but we had a good time (I was the only female in our group so I was able to watch the guys do their "male bonding thing") but did I mention that this is supposed to be kind of a date?  Did I mention that on the way to the pool hall I caught myself talking to my husband and he was SOUND ASLEEP.  Yes, my date for the night was sleeping on the car ride to the pool hall... and then after not much time at the pool hall the guys had to leave around 10:30, so for me... the night seemed to end brutally short!  We jumped back into the van to head in the direction of food and wound up back in our neighborhood at our local Ihop.  Husband was sleeping all the way, but not before he shot down an idea that I had that I was hoping to at least get his support on.

Date night was a complete and total bust!  I'm not sure that I even want to do it again.  On nights like last night I get a lot of creepy crawly thoughts that make themselves comfortable in my head.  "He's asleep because he's not interested in you anymore" or "Maybe if you were more attractive he would be making bigger and better plans to take you out and show you off... maybe dancing or maybe out on the town with a group of friends... maybe he would make some kind of plans, in advance, period and make it a thing of interest/importance."

Plus, I always get his excuses for why this or that didn't happen or why the interest level seems low... I even tell him that I don't feel like he sees me the same way, and he assures me that it's not anything like that, "I'm just tired," he always says.  Well I'm tired too!  I'm just as tired, just as run down, just as brain beaten, just as sleep deprived as him but I make time for and stay awake for the things of importance to me.  Maybe it's a supernatural power that I possess that nobody else is capable of???

Oh well, I say all this to say that my self esteem building is crucial in times like these.  I could curl up into a little defeated ball and wallow in all those nasty thoughts that try to weigh me down or I can say f* it.  I'm going to continue to work on me and work on treating myself well, because I am the only person that I can count on.  :0)


I know, a much more serious side... there are days like that!  LOL but it's all good.


XOXOXO

~Steph

So what's new?

Recently my nephew decided to give my cell phone a bath in a cup of orange juice... cleansing it of its ability to function.  YAY!!! (sarcasm, needless to say lol).  But I've been a very busy busy woman.  I must have dropped one or two dress sizes!  Whoo hoooooo!  I went shopping with my mom this weekend and she treated me to several clothing items and I had no problem wearing anything in what I thought was my current size.  I even had to go to the smaller size for an item or two, frickin' awesome  :0)  I'm happy as a kid on a rollercoaster with an empty stomach and nothing to lose!

(c) weightlossforwomen.com


The husband has been loving my pumped up confidence, my steps to bringing sexy back, and my overall "go out and get that Stephanie back" attitude.  He has also noticed that my size has slimmed down and that's a plus!  My goal is to be in a size 16, for some of you, that's HUGE... lol.  Well, I'm 6 feet tall with shape and size 11 shoes, it would look crazy for someone with my height and shape to be skinny in all the wrong places.  I need my butt for sitting and I need my curves for well, the obvious reasons!  lmbo.  A size 16 would be purrrrrrrrrrrfect!  I'm not in a huge rush, but it feels good knowing that I am well on my way ;)

So, this week is all about keeping up the good work.  More routine, more fun with hand weights & repetition for my arms.  Still gotta suck those batwings back in LOL.  Progress, my people, progress is being made and I can't stop, and I won't stop!

XOXOXOXOX

~Steph